just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize