plz talk dirty to me
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
its not stalking. its research.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
