he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
