her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
