So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
