Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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