Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
