Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
