After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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