so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
