There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
