So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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