porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
