When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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