Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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