We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
