We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I bet he comes in French.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
