my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
