I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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