if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
