Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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