well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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