Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
