Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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