If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
