I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
