so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
