Kareoke will never be a sober sport
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
50% drunk capacity currently
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
