Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
