We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
