Can i not drive my cunt home
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Help. Why am I so naked?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize