Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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