Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
