just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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