Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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