therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
