So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my poor anus
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
