He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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