he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
