So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
