Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
