This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
