I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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