I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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