the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
