so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
