I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
