glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
