I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
