she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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