come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
