Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
