two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
