Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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