I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
