god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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