its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
