You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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