k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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