Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
