I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
