Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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