We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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