Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
