Me too!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
