So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
