I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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