Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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