Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
