best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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