i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The adults are the big ones right?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
