Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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