I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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