my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's get the cat blown out
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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