tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
