I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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