You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
