i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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