she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
