Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
