Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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