Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If that was your dad, he is hot
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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