I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
